Big Reason why Marriage Fail

Big Reason why Marriage Fail

This might seem overused, but there's truth in the saying, "you have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else." However, what happens when two people who were once happy get married, and then a life change causes one of them to become unhappy? This unhappiness can lead to a downward spiral, potentially resulting in cheating or developing an addiction, which eventually causes an unhappy marriage and, ultimately, divorce. This is a significant reason why marriages fail.

It's inevitable that people change as they grow and as time passes. The person you were at 21 is likely very different from who you are now in your 50s. For instance, if you married at 28 and are now 55, your spouse has probably changed in some ways since you first got married, though they may still be the same in other aspects. I believe that the core of who we are doesn't really change—if you had a kind heart as a child, you'll still have one as an older adult. But change is unavoidable, and negative changes can sometimes break a marriage.

Change brings a variety of emotions, both positive and negative.

Here are some examples:

- **Change:** A family member becomes ill or dies.

  **Feelings:** Sadness and fear.

- **Change:** Losing a job.

  **Feelings:** Lowered self-esteem, diminished self-worth, anger, fear, anxiety.

- **Change:** Having children.

  **Feelings:** Increased selflessness, happiness, responsibility.

- **Change:** Physical appearance or aging.

  **Feelings:** Insecurity, unhappiness, or conversely, confidence, or placing too much emphasis on physical appearance.

- **Change:** Financial loss due to a bad investment or business deal.

  **Feelings:** Anger, bitterness, jealousy towards those with more money.

Changes are constant and never-ending. When these changes lead to unhappiness within oneself, they can become a major factor in why marriages fail.

If one partner is happy while the other is unhappy, several outcomes are possible:

- The unhappy partner may become jealous of the happy partner and start to resent them.

- The unhappy partner might blame the happy partner for their unhappiness, believing they are the problem, which could lead to cheating.

- The unhappy partner might turn to alcohol, drugs, or other addictions to cope with their unhappiness.

- The unhappy partner may start nitpicking the happy partner, expecting them to be perfect.

- The unhappy partner could bring up past events and blame the happy partner for things that happened long ago, saying things like, "You ruined my life."